Self?

What am I?
Just a silly sad girl.
No matter how I try,
life slaps me and I swirl.

Just a silly sad girl
full of bruises and scrapes,
life slaps me and I swirl
into the open arms of an ape.

Full of bruises and scrapes,
I waltz like a twister
into the open arms of an ape.
“You’re a piece of shit, sir.”

I waltz like a twister,
holding you in no regard.
“You’re a piece of shit, sir.”
I am my own guard.

Holding you in no regard,
no matter how I try…
I am my own guard.
What am I?

Medicated

My mind was full of things and sounds untold,
for months I hid myself away from light.
“She’s young, not bright, a foolish bird, but bold.”
My hands will block my hopeful eyes from sight.

I long to hear the golden bells in song.
The night has lasted long and hopeless dark
has conquered sight, made speech a hiss, so wrong.
The tune has come to still, a dead mute lark.

To touch, to grieve, this pain it lasts too long.
Like anguished screams this dark surrounds us all.
“Just stop, sit down, relax, rip that glass bong.”
My eyes are red but now I don’t feel small.

Man, all I need is more cool ranch cheese chips.
But first, lemme just take a few more rips.